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Utopia Talk / Politics / Subhuman monkeys running wild in UK
Wed Jul 29 11:35:04
Baboons armed with knives, chainsaw spotted in UK safari park

By Yaron SteinbuchJuly 27, 2020 | 1:19pm

There’s some real monkey business at a British safari park, where a roving gang of baboons armed with knives and even a chainsaw has been wreaking havoc and sowing fear, according to a report.

The prowling primates are known to have vandalized vehicles, ripping off windscreen wipers and mirrors from them at the Knowsley Safari Park in Merseyside, The Sunday Times reported.

But the baboons have recently been seen carrying an assortment of weapons, including blades, screwdrivers and a chainsaw, leading some workers to suspect that visitors have supplied them with the dangerous items for a thrill, according to the news outlet.

"We’re not sure if they are being given weapons by some of the guests who want to see them attack cars, or if they’re fishing them out of pickup trucks and vans,” one employee told the paper.

They will literally go into people’s toolboxes and carry them around. One of the baboons was seen lugging around a chainsaw.”

Park officials pushed back at the reports, suggesting that armed apes were an urban myth.

“We believe many of these stories have grown in exaggeration as they’ve been retold, with embellishment to make the objects that are sometimes found in the enclosure seem more exciting and unbelievable,” the park told the news outlet.

sam adams
Wed Jul 29 14:45:30
Seb thinks you should be arrested for this post.
Im better then you
2012 UP Football Champ
Thu Jul 30 00:59:25
So is this not about the royal family?
smart dude
Thu Jul 30 01:16:14
Thu Jul 30 04:11:59
Did they resurrect and clones masses of Rugian's dad in the UK?
Thu Jul 30 05:04:14
Another angle is that, ever since the UK left the EU, the country has really gone down the tube (get it? because they call their metro the tube ahahaha). In the "old" days, polish immigrants took their jobs, but now, well now bands of armed monkey militias roam the streets. :D
Thu Jul 30 14:43:55
It's happening all over the world!


July 29, 2020

Police in Thailand have admitted that the situation is out of control in the city of Lopburi that has seen a population explosion of macaque monkeys. The population of monkeys have increased at an unprecedented rate and they are also eating themselves to death.

Locals are terrified of the macaques that have based themselves at an abandoned cinema hall, stated a report in The Sun. Residents of the city have barricaded themselves inside their homes as the monkeys roam free.The police have said that trying to disperse large groups of macaques was "hopeless".

A local officer said that using slingshots to scare the primates away has also been futile. Locals are now afraid to leave their homes fearing attack by the macaque monkeys.

The cinema hall where they have based themselves also have the remains of the dead primates. Any human who has attempted to enter is being reportedly attacked.

The lack of tourists have also made the primates rampage the city in search for food. The population of macaques is estimated to be around 6,000. Some media reports have pegged this number at as high as 8,400. Locals have tried to feed junk food to the macaques to calm them down but the situation has reportedly worsened as they have taken a liking to the sugary diet.

Due to their junk diet the urban monkeys have less muscle mass than their wild counterparts. Not only that, many also suffer from blood disease and hypertension.

Narongporn Doodduem, Director of a regional office of the Wildlife Conservation Department, said: "The monkeys are never hungry, just like children who eat too much KFC." In the pre-COVID times, the monkeys actually attracted tourists who would buy food to feed them.

According to the news site, parts of the city are now no-go zones. Thai authorities have also tried sterilising some of the monkeys but that has not helped them. Wildlife authorities are planning to make a sanctuary for them.
the wanderer
Thu Jul 30 14:53:28
natural selection
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